Ways to improve your child’s self esteem

Child Development Ways to improve your child’s self esteem
Child Development requires good self esteem

When you feel good about yourself you feel confident,happy and the world seems a better place. This happiness and confidence expresses itself in your relationships and in all aspects of your life. You like being you or in other words you have a good self esteem. Child development is positive when the child is happy and has no worries or fears. Parents can encourage such positive child development simply by listening and gently correcting the language used by their child.

The Power of Language in Child Development

Encourage your child to use positive language about themselves rather than negative. Child development hinges on how the child sees themself. Think about the huge difference between “Cant” and “Wont”. One is a dead end and implies failure and giving up. The other implies a choice which means that the person making it is in control. Wont means that you are responsible for your own actions whereas Cant means that you are at the mercy of the situation for which there is no way out. Which do you think and which is detrimental to child development? There is a world of difference between “I cant do my homework/tidy my room/go to bed” and “I wont do my homework/tidy my room/go to bed.”

When your child vocalises their feelings encourage them to say the same thing but in a different way. “with practice I will improve at this” is better than “I am no good at this” ‘I won’t make friends’, is better than ‘I can’t make friends’ (or use “I choose not to…” instead of wont) “nobody likes me” becomes “nobody likes me yet but one day they will” Once the situation is seen in a proper per­spective it can be tackled on its own merits and your child development has been enhanced by the reassurance you will then no doubt deliver.

The harm “I am” can do to Child Development

I AM is incredibly powerful. Once I say ‘I am bored/hopeless/depressed’, I am identifying myself with these conditions, and they become part of the way in which I see myself. So when your child says “I am hopeless/useless/not very good” make light of it straightaway by saying “no you are not you are my son/daughter” The I AM strategy is a use of the power of suggestion. It sounds odd to believe that repeating to yourself from time to time that you can do something, or that I am getting better at something, actually helps produce improvement, but it does.

The uncon­scious mind gets the message in the same way as we plant suggestions in the unconscious when hypnosis is used. So when you hear I AM from your child find something positive to put on the end of it. Child development will be improved by the child writing out these positive suggestions, colouring and decorating them in any way they like and putting them up on their bedroom wall. Seeing the suggestion ‘I can do mathematics’ attractively presented on the wall several times a day again helps get the message into the unconscious mind.

Self esteem tips for Child Development

Prompt your child to use thefirst person when they talk about themselves. The use of ‘one‘ or ‘we‘ is a problem that usually surfaces in the teens rather than now, but by de-person­alizing themselves through language they avoid responsi­bility for themselves as individuals. Child development is retarded if the child does not like themself. Encourage your child to change ‘but‘ into “and‘ if the child is talking negatively about themself.

 Thus ‘I’d like to be good at football like Tom, but I’m not’ becomes ‘I’d like to be good at football like Tom, and I’m not’. The use of ‘But’ divides off the second half of the sentence from the first, suggesting that Tom’s ability to play football and my own are two separate things and are never going to be the same. Whereas the use of “And‘ includes both parts of the sentence together meaning that Tom’s ability and my ability are the same sort of thing, so one day mine may be as good as his.

These linguistic usages may seem like tricks but really do help with child development and building high self esteem. Prompt your child to look people in the face when they talk. This is not just as a sign of respect to the other person but as a sign of respect to themself. Your child should feel that they are every bit as good as the next person and has no need to look at the ground whilst talking to them. Encourage your child to set realistic goals namely those where the chance of success outweighs that of failure, while at the same time reflecting their true potential. In this way the child learns to associate themself with success rather than failure.

Your role in Child Development

You love your child and naturally want the best for them. You are not expected to be an expert in child development and you will not get it right every time. But simply by reading this you show that you care and want to do the right thing. I believe that every adult has self esteem issues at some time in their life and would not wish it on anyone,especially their child.

Child development will often seem that you are going backwards rather than making progress but it is a marathon not a sprint. Be patient. You will be the worst judge of whether you have been good at child development or the worst at child development. The look of love your child gives you is proof you did something right. 

If this article helps just one person cope better with child development then the child that person and me will all have had a boost to our respective self esteems.

Roy J. Paget is a neuroscientist and a leading authority on Brain Based Learning and the
educational and academic achievements of children. He has devoted his life’s
work to raising human potential and personal effectiveness and his unique
approach to training and development has assisted both individuals and businesses in the UK and abroad to dramatically increase their well being.Quite simply he changes lives.

Find More Ways To Improve Your Eyesight Articles